Living With Violence Is Not The Only Option
The physical, emotional & mental abuse you
experience from your husband, boyfriend or
intimate partner hurts. The pain can eventually
tear you and your family apart. One out of every
four women, no matter what her race, religion or
background is abused by her intimate partner. It
may start as an isolated incident, but we know
that abuse often escalates. The fact is domestic
violence is the primary cause of physical injury
to women.
The Hidden Crime
Since domestic violence is a hidden crime in our
society, it is sometimes hard to know that you
are an abused woman. Family pressures, social
pressures and your own desire to make your
relationship work, make it difficult to face the
problem and to talk about it. You hope your
partner will change. You try to keep things
going, but the abuse goes on.
It’s difficult To Leave
Some women endure years of violence; others lave
their partners for short periods of time but
return again and again. The alternatives for a
woman who wants to leave are still limited by
many factors outside her control. She may have
to give up her home, and leaving her partner or
family can mean isolation and loneliness.
There are emotional considerations as well;
wanting to protect the children, worries about
being a social outcast, and feeling ashamed
about what has happened. Many women feel very
dependent on their partners; some women blame
themselves for the violence and many even still
love the man who abuses them.
Women who experience domestic violence often
have very little confidence or self-esteem and
feel totally powerless to change things. There
is also the very real threat for some
retaliation by their partners.
It’s Beginning To Change
There’s no easy answer to ending domestic
violence but there is hope, and progress is
being made. Laws have changed. Today, Domestic
Violence is a crime and is being treated as
such. More women are pursuing their rights and
stating their cases in court. Pressure is being
brought to bear on batterers to stop abusing
women.
A Helping Hands & Understanding Advocates –
Across The
U.S.
Women to women…that’s what hundreds of Domestic
Violence Programs are all about. These advocates
are available to listen to you and help you
explore your choices, both social and legal, so
you can decide what to do next. They will help
to assure that your rights are protected and
that you have access to community resources. And
they respect your confidentiality.
Are You Abused?…Here’s A Quick Test
Every couple experience some difficulties in
their relationship. However, there are patterns
of behavior that suggest violence, or the
potential for violence. To help you evaluate
your situation, take this short test.
Does the Person You Love… YES NO
1. “Track” all your time? ____ ____
2. Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful?
____ ____
3. Discourage your relationship with family ____
____
and friends?
4. Prevent you from working or attending school?
____ ____
5. Criticize you for little things? ____ ____
6. Anger easily when drinking or on drugs? ____
____
7. Control all finances and force you to account
for what you spend? ____ ____
8. Humiliates you in front of others? ____ ____
9. Destroy personal property or sentimental
items? ____ ____
10. Hit, punch, slap, kick, shove or bit you or
your children? ____ ____
11. Threaten to hurt you or your children? ____
____
12. Force you to have sex against your will?
____ ____
If you find yourself saying yes to these
questions, now is the time to call your nearest
Domestic Violence Center. The ones that we have
listed in the DIRECTORY shown below have
personnel who speak English, Spanish and other
languages and dialects. Don’t hesitate. ACT NOW!
How Many Organizations Can Help You
Safety:
If you are in a dangerous…if you have no place
to go…many organizations offer you shelter, a
homelike setting where you and your children can
sort things out, learn how to deal with the
current situation and get the help and support
you deserve.
If you want to talk with someone, many
counselors understand what you are going
through. They will listen, help your sort out
your feelings and share information that you
might find useful as you decide what to do. Most
of all, they will be there for you.
Support Groups:
Sharing your experience with other women in a
confidential environment will help you explore
what to do about your own situation. You’ll be
able to see how other women are dealing with
violence, overcoming fear and taking action.
Advocacy Programs:
The Courts, police, public assistance can be
complicated to negotiate. Many advocates will go
with you and give you the information, support
and knowledge you need to get the most out of
community resources.
Children’s Services:
In many situations where violence occurs in the
family, children get physically or emotionally
hurt. These counselors understand the special
needs of your children.
Call Family Healthline (Hotline)
You can call free any time of night or day. If
the hotlines are busy, try again. Hotlines can
help you decide whom to talk about your
situation and how to tell them. They can put you
in touch with organizations that can help you
right in your community. You can call if you are
being abused yourself or are worried about a
friend. Here are some organizations that are
ready to help you and your children:
American Association for the Protection of
Children
63 Inverness Drive
E.
Englewood,
CO
80112
Phone: 303 695-0811
Childhelp USA
P. O. Box Woodland Hills,
CA
91370
Phone: 800 422-4453
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 18749
Denver,
CO
80218-0749
Phone: 303 839-1852
National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse
332 S. Michigan Ave., Suite 1600
Chicago,
IL
60604
Phone: 800 835-2671
